My awakening journey

November 10, 2021
My Awakening Journey

Come with me as i explore how I started my awakening journey.

To quote the matrix:

“Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself.”— Morpheus,

Each of us will awaken at different times, and at different levels, if and when we are ready.

It took me 44 years!

A nibble on the red pill

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My journey really started back in 2015

I never started out with any intention of unravelling the mysteries of the world.

Looking back, my initial step, was a small but necessary one.

I stumbled across a motivational video by Les Brown!

Wow, for some reason it spoke to ‘me’,

I was hooked.

For the first time in my 40 years, someone was telling me I had the power to make changes in my life.

In no time I was listening to Les Brown for what seemed like 24/7

Soon the list expanded to Eric Thomas, Tony Robbins and my personal favourite CT Fletcher (I love this guy)

I was mesmerised.

The message from all these speakers is, stop looking outside for the answer, and start making the changes from within.

There is no awakening, without self empowerment.

Self empowerment really is the first stage to stepping out of the matrix, because the answers really are inside each and every one of us.

But in a world designed to keep us busy, fearful and all about the ego, we rarely, if ever stop and search within.

What i came to realise was motivational videos are great…….. Whilst you are listening to them.

Turn them off, and, well the motivation diminishes

You see you need the tools to act upon that motivation, and sadly, I had not developed them. Yet!

I’d like to say my progress to the next level was quick and considered.

But no, apparently I love to procrastinate.

My awakening journey - The Conscious Bodybuilder

5 years later…


That thing about being kept busy, was real for me.

Luckily, the universe provides a solution (if you’re listening) at the exact time you are ready.

And for me that came in the form of The Landmark Forum

There is a link above, and I won’t go further into it here, needless to say, it was a pivotal, and I mean pivotal moment in my life, without which I don’t think I would be where I am today.

The most powerful thing I took away was:

Everything is empty and meaningless!

From this point on I started to look at the world without the beliefs and teachings I had accumulated.

I started to look at the world, like that of a child.

Innocent and full of wonder!

On top of this my self development went into over drive.

And so did my Audible account!

Initially the books I gravitated towards were based around physical improvement via exercise and nutrition, but then expanded to the mind / spiritual practices, with a little splattering of Les Brown.

However, for me the stand out books were:

  • The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins.
  • The China Study by T Colin Campbell PhD
  • The 5 love languages by Gary Chapman
  • Breaking the habit of being yourself by Joe Dispenza

The spark that ignited something much bigger.

So that brings us all the way up to 2019.

I’m loving life

I’m in self development heaven and then…………

Just 2 weeks to flatten the curve.

Wait, what?!?!?

The mother of all awakening bombs was about to drop for me.

I remember thinking, the entire world doesn’t shut down! But lets give it 2 weeks.

The rest is history.

By the start of week 3 I knew something was off, so I started to search, and search some more.

The numbers weren’t adding up.

The people saying stay at home, seemed disingenuous to me, which further ignited a need to keep digging.

That’s when metaphorically I swallowed not one red pill, but the entire fucking box!

Thus started my spiral down the rabbit hole.

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The 5 stages of awakening!

Each and every one of us will have our own journey, however I discovered VERY QUICKLY, I was all in, like ALL IN!

Awakening Stage 1 – Researcher on speed

For me, the landmark experience of viewing the world without a filter came flooding back.

I remember thinking, have no opinion, research, listen, watch, take it all in, no matter what.

One after the other I started to research EVERYTHING, its crazy how everything just blends into one another, almost seamlessly leading from one subject to the next.

For me it started with the covid narrative, but pretty soon, I was reading about world leaders, governments, corporations, and events that had an eerie “co-incidence”

My thirst for more information was unquenchable, and often, I had to remind myself of the mantra;

“have no preconceived idea, just research”.

I would find myself up till the early hours of the morning, constantly reading something that mentioned another ‘conspiracy theory’ that I HAD to further explore.

Fast forward 6 months and I found myself at….

Stage 2 – Spread the word, people need to know.

This is perhaps one of the hardest stages.

Following months and months of research and taking on what seemed like, at times, too much information, I wanted to do nothing but wake people up.

I would post to social, leave comments and links, trying to show the breadcrumbs.

But no one wanted to listen.

No one seemed to care

And it seemed like everyone thought I was nuts.

I soon got VERY frustrated and I compounded that frustration with further comments and attempts at waking people up, which only turned into major frustration.

WHY won’t they listen!?!?!?

I know now, you only wake up, when you are ready.

The person in the corner shouting theories at you, is only clashing with ‘your world view’ and in the world of ego, no one likes to be wrong.

3 to 4 months in and Stage 3 hit me like a ton of bricks.

Stage 3 – Despair and abandonment

This stage is the worse, but a necessary one.

I no longer tried to convince people.

I mean why bother?

We’re fucked, the world is ruled by evil serpents or aliens or… who knows, I didn’t for sure, I just saw chaos, pain and suffering and no end in sight but the destruction of everything I had come to know.

It really is a lonely place stage 3

This, for me, was the stage I said goodbye to the ego.

It was the stage I said goodbye to my known world.

I was leaving the matrix.

Luckily, Stage 4 soon kicks in.

Stage 4 – Acceptance and a break from research.

Following stage 3, anything seems like a fucking holiday.

But stage 4 was like being in the eye of the storm

I had accepted I knew nothing.

I no longer wanted to research anything else, at this point I had spent the best part of 14 months researching, commenting, trying to convince people, but now I was peaceful and still.

Stage 4 was the shortest of the lot, I miss stage 4 sometimes.

Stage 5 – Love, hope and a new beginning

This is where I find myself today.

I love this stage.

Don’t get me wrong, I have wobbles every now and then, but, love and hope is a nice place to be.

For me this is truly the “awakened” stage.

This is the place I feel millions of people are getting to, many have been here for a while.

Many, like me, have been thrust into this stage at a rate of knots.

But only when you say goodbye to the ego, when you leave the world you know behind, and accept you have the power to make change, do you realise your full potential

I am not alone.

The awakening process can be a lonely place.

And at times I really did feel like I was one of a very few.

But make no mistake, this is a mass awakening.

There are millions waking up, and the raising of consciousness on the planet at times, is palpable.


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On this journey, I found myself gravitating towards individuals for answers.

Generally, on a subject I was engrossed in.

They provided me guidance, hope, or direction

Many, helped me navigate the 5 stages above.

Some notable people are:

  • David Icke
  • Brian Rose
  • Phil Goodlife
  • Alex Jones
  • Dr Vernon Coleman
  • Delores Cahill

But get this, eventually I stopped going to them for hope & guidance.

I stopped looking at them like they had the answer.

Eventually, and most powerfully.

I knew the answers I was looking for, were within me.

I had come full circle.

Connections and new beginnings

So that is my story.

My awakening.

Its been a fucking ride, and it sure as shit ain’t over yet

One of the most fascinating parts of the past 2 years has been learning how amazing we are.

When I look at the human body, the human spirit with open eyes i am in awe.

It’s potential has been hidden from us.

It truly is boundless,

Add to that, the wonder of nature and its harmonious connection to us is beyond words.

This is where I find myself.

The next stage of “The Conscious Bodybuilder” is to connect.

It is to discover, heal and learn.

I am open to the universe connecting me with like minds.

I am looking to pave a way into the new world.

Into the 5D with nothing but love and awe.

Stay tuned.

James TheConsciousBodybuilder.

1 Comment

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